I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
