does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
