You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
