did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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