grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
