new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize