I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
where am i from again
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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