I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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