i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
