i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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