used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
