Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
