i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
