A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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