We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We have so much sex to catch up on
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
