I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
