It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
