I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
