and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
