Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
