I'm jealous of your bromance
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
