your thong is hanging out like whoa
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Sponge bath it is.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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