Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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