M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
