Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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