were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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