hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
