lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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