At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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