Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
