I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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