I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
