Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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