so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Quick, to the slutcave!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
