He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
