If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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