this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I want a musical about memes.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
