No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
