I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
