I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
