ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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