i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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