my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize