well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize