It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
