I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Randomize
