i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
