What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
