So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
