You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
