ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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