The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
