You just made me feel so damn special
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
