so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I forget how to act sober
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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