also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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