you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
