I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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