I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
