I never want to see another naked old woman again.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
