if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
