I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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