She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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