I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
